60 Years of Challenge

How To Seduce Women

2011-02-19T13:34:00.001-05:00

How To Seduce Women

One of the biggest fears guys have is revealing that they are interested in a woman. As a result, many aspiring seducers end up spending too much time in what is referred to as the “attraction phase”. This is quite amusing because in my opinion there is no separate attraction phase. In fact, most of my easiest and fastest seductions all had one important thing in common. The attraction and escalation stages were happening at the same time.

Escalation is Attractive

The first mindset to internalize is that escalation is an attractive quality. In fact, escalation may be the most important quality to display if you want to get a particular woman interested in you. Making such a bold move, especially quickly, shows confidence and immediately makes women notice you. Any average guy can make a move after they know a woman is definitely interested. Big deal.

Escalating The Vibe

Of course when I talk about escalating quickly as being attractive I’m not talking about groping or cat-calling women as they walk by. In fact it’s just the opposite. Instead of worrying about complimenting or touching women, your initial focus should be on what I call “escalating the vibe”. Escalating vibe basically means the tone of your interactions should quickly progress from social and friendly to more seductive and serious. An example of a seductive vibe would be holding her gaze, moving very close to her and being comfortable with silence. By putting out just a little bit of seductive energy you can create lots of tension. And the good news is, tension between a man and a woman is usually felt as sexual tension.

Creepy or Connection?

Now here is where things get interesting. This feeling of tension you can create with your seductive vibe is similar to the physical symptoms a woman feels when she is attracted to a man. Her heart is beating fast, she starts blushing, and may even begin to feel nervous. In some cases, women will feel these same powerful emotions even if she is not officially attracted to you yet.
On the other hand, if a woman isn’t enjoying your vibe she will interpret the tension you created as awkward. As such, she may respond by giving you the “you’re kind of creepy” face. Unfortunately if you want to be a seducer of women and not a dancing monkey there is always the small risk of this happening. No worries. Her rejection of you will be non-verbal and you can both walk away and save face. It’s not like you confessed your feelings or tried to kiss her and failed. However, if she has some interest in you that feeling of tension you created will make her feel even more attracted. You go from “kind of interesting” to “extremely sexy” in seconds.

How To Make it ON

By only revealing your interest with vibe, not verbally or physically, sexual tension will start to build. If she’s interested in you she will long for a release to that tension. In other words, she secretly hopes that you are feeling this non-verbal connection too and it’s not just her.
One way you can relieve some of her tension is by grabbing and then caressing her hand. Since you haven’t touched her much, if at all, the first time you touch her hand creates a spark which can lead to mutual hand caressing. Ever had a time in your life when you first touched a woman’s hand and you both instantly felt a powerful physical connection. It’s like that.

Seduce Her Non-Verbally

Most mainstream seduction advice puts a heavy emphasis on escalating verbally and physically. For example, I’m sure you have been told countless times to use teasing, touch her a lot and then go for the kiss. In my opinion escalating with seductive eye contact, silence and proximity can be way more powerful than anything you could ever say verbally or do physically. In fact, trying to escalate by touching her a lot can actually reduce sexual tension because she already knows your intentions.
I know many guys still view escalation as this scary moment of truth where they put it all on the line. However escalating the vibe is actually quite simple to do and virtually risk-free. It only requires being silent, listening and enjoying the amazing woman in front of you. Now that sounds like something any man can do.

Best,
60 Years of Challenge

Won't I Be Creepy If I Do This?

2011-02-18T15:33:00.003-05:00

I want to try this but I'm scared I will end up being the creepy guy at my college.

This method is not about running around trying to be seductive with every single woman you come across or talk to. You don't have to try this on your best friends girlfriend, the older woman at the deli or your lab partner.

However, when you do meet a woman that catches your eye, and she is interesting, and you like her vibe, then now is a great time to slow down, hold her gaze and bask in the natural sexual tension between men and women.

Being seductive is not something you run around the bars doing, like being social. This is not pickup. This is NOT a game. This is relaxed. This is chill. Don't force things. You do this on your terms - when you want. This is letting the game come to you, but being proactive at the same time.

Stop Reading, Turn Off The TV and Hang Up The Phone

2011-02-08T15:19:00.001-05:00

So much of the 60 Method revolves around avoiding drama. Not reacting. Staying cool. Deadpan. The reason other styles don't work as well is because you are taking what women say seriously. At least seriously enough for you to feel that you need to have a comeback for it. Instead, do nothing. Say zip.

Here is a perfect example.

No matter what a sales letter says, it's all bullshit. It was written with one purpose, and one purpose only, to persuade you to buy. The only way to avoid being duped is to not read any of it. Turn off the computer. Once you start reading, no matter what the words are, you are fucked. They will get you.

It's the same thing with news or other propaganda. Just by listening they can convince you of anything. We can easily be swayed to have one opinion or another. Hell, it only took 48 hours in Guantanamo to turn the prisoners insane by depriving them of light, sound and touch. Humans are weak.

The only way to win is to turn off the TV and immediately hang up on the telemarketers.

Too many guys are taking what women say during a seduction seriously. I never do this, I only do this, I want guys to do this, why can't you do this. Just by listening to this crap, and taking it seriously, you loose. You just can' t listen to any of it. Debating, reframing, none of it works.

Women will not respect you if you take their drama seriously. This includes tests. The only thing you can do is give her a sly smile, seductive eye contact and turn your head away slowly. When you do, this there is no such thing as a test.

Movie: Blue Valentine

2011-01-27T22:47:00.000-05:00

There are lots of movies about the fast start and depressing downfall of a relationship.

Bottom line. A woman’s agenda is in direct conflict with the special ingredients it takes to keep long term attraction alive. For example, seeing each other less would keep that all important sexual chemistry alive longer, but it’s a bad strategy for trying to get you locked down and committed. The funny part is, intuitively, women know this and don’t seem to care. Loss of attraction is just the cost of doing business. And you can’t logically explain this to her before it happens, she is not going to listen. It will still be your fault when it happens though. It’s always a Blue Valentine for guys who take attraction for granted.

Seduction Is Fun, Attraction Is Not

2011-01-27T22:11:00.003-05:00

You have heard me say Opening Sucks. But now for my new tag line: Attraction Is Not Fun

I'm glad there is no attraction phase anymore. I think that's what is making seduction so fun for guys these days. The thing is you can only have 1 annoying phase in the seduction process, not 2. And that one annoying phase is still opening. It takes guys enough courage just to start up a conversation with a new woman that when you added this long drawn out complicated attraction sequence on top of their fear of opening, it was like - uh, this really isn't that much fun bro. There wasn't a lot to look forward to even if you did go talk to her.

But if you can just get yourself to start approaching, now you can go straight into the fun part. Escalating. Enjoying the unique woman in front of you. Getting close to her. Holding her gaze. Basking in that natural sexual tension. Not worrying about outcomes or if she is attracted to you. Either way you always win.

Opening Sucks. Attraction is Not Fun. And Escalation was too complicated.

Seduction is fun again.

How To Get A Girlfriend (For Real)

2011-01-24T16:27:00.013-05:00

You've got it all wrong. You want somebody to love you. But people only want to be with people who already love themselves. Those lucky few who would like someone to love them, but don' t really need it. Women want some of that shine to rub off on them.

You can't sit around waiting for somebody to love you before you finally start loving yourself. That is why all of your relationships will ultimately fail. Love yourself first, and then you can go out and let a a woman enjoy being around a man like you. Let her self-esteem get a boost for landing such a prize. When it comes to relationships you are sharing a gift, not looking to get one.

This whole system of consumerism is all predicated on getting someone to love you. The products, the clothes, the gossip, the new gadgets and iphones. Maybe one day when we are good looking enough, or have cool friends or lots of money, somebody will notice and love me. You can stop playing this game right now and love yourself. Then let a woman aspire to be with you, instead of the other way around.

You could have all the looks and money in the world, but if you don't love yourself you have absolutely nothing to offer a woman. People are mesmerized by people who like themselves. Even the 350-pound woman on the daytime talk show who says "I'm big and I'm beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have me". Self-love is so fascinating, people just have to have it. They want to be around it.They will want to be around you.

[I figured the first thing guys would ask is how can you love yourself. It seems so vague, like saying- just be confident bro. But loving yourself is really just accepting yourself. When you like yourself you have at least 1 person in your corner in life. Most people have zero. And all you need is one. Everyone could tell you that you suck, but as long as you are your biggest fan - it doesn't matter. The reason people want a girlfriend or boyfriend is because they need at least one person to accept them. It makes all the other pain go away. Your whole life could be going to hell - but you still have her. And you wonder why guys are so needy for "that one". I'm just saying make that one person yourself, not a girl. Yourself needs you. It is counting in you. It needs someone strong to say - fuck this shit - I like myself.]

I don't know what your deal is. Maybe mommy and daddy didn't hug you enough. Maybe you just want to please other people instead of yourself. Well most times if you didn't get love from someone in your life (an ex- girlfriend, your parents, friends) it's probably because they didn't truly love themselves, not because of anything you did. People who love themselves have lots of love to give. The unconditional kind.

Only hang out with friends who like themselves. Only date women with high self-esteem. Be good to yourself. Everything else in life is complete bullshit and a waste of time. No matter what you do or how much you buy - you will be like that hamster on a wheel, running in place. Love.

Of course before she becomes your girlfriend you are going to need to learn how to seduce her. And there is no better or easier way than doing => this one simple thing

No, It's About Nothing.

2011-01-19T17:29:00.002-05:00

A lot of people are depressed that life is about nothing. That we are nothing more than flesh and bone. Random electrical messages disguised as our thoughts. Slaves to our biology. Not me. I like that life is about nothing. Because out of this great nothing we can make whatever something we want. I think this was by design. There is no one ruler or creator who dictates to us what life must be about. No one person making us follow their vision of what life is (although it hasn't stopped some people on earth from trying to do this). This is the ultimate freedom. If you want your life to be about hate and negativity, than that is what it's about. If you want life to be about laughs, friends and football - than that is the meaning of life. You mold your own reality out of the nothingness. Life isn't nothing because there is already something. Somebody wanted us to have something. It's just that they had the foresight to make the something about nothing. Forget your nihilism emo boy. Like Seinfeld, it is about nothing. And that is a good thing.

There Is No Female Conspiracy Against Men

2011-01-18T22:09:00.003-05:00

We don't need another post about how on TV shows and commercials the American Male is being emasculated. And no more holding her purse!

The commercials are worse than the shows. Even for male dominated products. Miller Light just figured this out with their "Man Up" series. Instead of advertising directly to our inner tough guy, they now use "fear of being shamed by women" to help push their beer.

The commercials are funny as hell, but the point is...if you don't order a Miller Light women will think you are a big pussy. It used to be fear of "your guy friends" thinking you are a pussy. I guess they found the former works much better.

But this stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. Men who rape women are treated as the worst of the worst, and rightfully so. Some of the anger has to do with how no guy likes when another man messes with our purity and innocence. We get really angry when we see some MAN just take our purity and everything we love by force.

But how come when it's a guy going to jail, we laugh that he is going to get raped in prison. Male rape is usually a joke and rarely looked into seriously. I think there is a documentary about this issue, but I haven't watched it yet. Rape is always wrong - man or woman.

Women and children are the vessels of our last hope - that there is a place in this world that is still beautiful and innocent.

You will get fucked up bad by MAN if you mess with that hope. Again, rightfully so. But as a grown man - they don't care as much about you. As a man, you are nobody's fantasy of innocence, or fantasy of anything.

I think this speaks to the heart of everything, from the TV shows, to the commercials, to unequal divorce settlements, to less jail time for women who do the same crime as a man.

Remember, it's mostly male judges and male advertising executives who are making these decisions.

My Theory: MEN care more about keeping that last hope alive (that women are innocent and pure) than we do about ourselves. It must be important to us. We want women to be the prize. We don't want women to be like us. We cling to the hope that there is something special for us out there.

Before we assume once again this is all some giant conspiracy by women against us, in reality we as men are WILLINGLY doing this to ourselves. We want it this way.

The Real Game Changers

2011-01-16T15:10:00.003-05:00

There are at least 10,000 pick-up and seduction techniques. But still none as powerful as saying hello, grabbing her hand, and leading her out of the venue. These moments are the true game changers.

Some guys are interesting but not good at being "interested" Being interested in women is much more important than being interesting to women.

Sure, it's more obvious than ever that women are superficial. They are not shy about admitting they want the guy to have money (certain job) or to be a certain height. Be we men are just as bad. All it proves is that human beings in general are superficial and they love the feeling the other person provides them more than the other person. The answer - love yourself obviously.

You may have the belief a really HOT woman would never get with you because they have so many options. And they could date a rich, famous, good looking guy instead. And you may be right. But if you believe for one second that these women are better than you, you fail. Because it may be unlikely you ever get a chance to date a model, but if you ever do - you better be 100% confident that you deserve it. They are NOT any better than you - even if you never get a shot. This is why you will see average guys with really hot women. They believe they deserve it.

A Bad Blind Date

2011-01-16T14:49:00.002-05:00

Older guy in front of me on a blind date - fucking up bad. He's going on and on about all the shady things women do on their online profiles. How women lie about their age and their height, while at the same time telling guys under 6' not to bother emailing them.

Never call women out on their scams and hypocrisy to other women. They don't care. They may agree with you, but believe me, they are doing the same thing or would if they needed to. It's not winning you any points. Just like how every woman will make fun of cosmetic surgery (when did the word plastic bite the dust?) but they would all get some in a heartbeat.

I love when guys try to tell women about what is going on with relationships. Almost as bad as a pickup guru boring a woman with his views on "social dynamics". It's all just drama. Logic and analysis is only a diversion away from seduction. This guy has already spilled his life story including all of his failures, in under 30 minutes. This genius is recently divorced and will be single for a long, long time.

Should I slip him the 60 business card. Nah.

60 Named To Top 10 PUA's of 2010 List

2011-01-14T02:49:00.002-05:00

A lot of guys have been emailing to congratulate me on being named one of The Top 10 PUA's of 2010 by TSB Magazine. Some of you want to know what I think about it.

If anything the award is more for you than it is for me. You have proved that this style of meeting women can be successful. Hundreds of you. And that is why we were noticed. Well actually, it's more like they couldn't ignore us any longer. So, thank you my Junior 60 's. You deserve it!

But I wish instead there was a Top 10 List of Guys who are are well rounded with women. Seduction & Relationships included. Hey, maybe one day.

I find it laughable there are all these pickup companies, seduction product and dating coaches. But since I am one of them, I guess that makes me a hypocrite. But aren't all human beings in some ways, hypocrites. Anyway, we aren't special, we aren't inventing new technology. Who do we think we fucking are, Apple coming out with the new Ipad or something.

We are just revealing truths. Explaining nature. And whoever can explain these truths the best, guys will listen to him. That is what this industry - er, I mean community is all about. And of course in my humble opinion, 60 explains these truths better than most. But I am not special.

Stay humble my friends and fellow associates.

Either Way You Can't Have Her

2011-01-13T03:29:00.003-05:00

She started off being attracted to your wild side. You couldn't be tamed. Drinking. Other women are into you. Wild child. Smoking. You don't need anyone but your dog. She fell for you. And you fell for her, hard. Hooked on that female affection and kindness. Redemption. But she doesn't want to be with you now. She says you can't be trusted. That you are not a good role model for her young son. The wildness is now lack of responsibility. Your desire for freedom went from being sexy to being childish. Of course, she thought she could change you. And knows now that she can't. She wants you to go. Now! So you tell her you will change. After all, you want that affection. You need it . You will do anything for another shot at this. If you stay the wild rebel, you can't have her. But if you change into Mr. Responsible, you CAN have her, but she won't see you as the same dangerous man that she secretly wants to ravage her. The way you want her to see you. The way you need to be loved. Either way, you can't have her.

The Girls Who Talk Loud, Curse and Smoke

2011-01-07T17:02:00.011-05:00

Based on their circumstances some women had to become more masculine. It's a survival technique. Could be a rough school or neighborhood, having lots of brothers, or just the culture (think Jersey Shore). I'm just not feeling all the cursing, tough guy, er girl - mannerisms and puffing down all those cigarettes. Why are you talking so loud?

I like the feminine. I look for that energy. We already get enough masculine, tough guy MMA "no feelings bro" bullshit from our guy friends. Boring. I don't need my woman to talk trash and kick some girls ass like she was Foxy Brown. Balance the energies. To each their own I guess?

Of course I don't mind the women who tap into the best of masculine energy. The drive to be great and get things done. But not our worst traits - the wanna be tough guy, feelings are for wimps - don't hug me (daddy never loved me) loud mouths.

To be fair, I'm sure some guy over in LES or Park Slope, Brooklyn had to get in touch with his feminine side so he could fit in with all the hipsters over there.

Men Trying to Catchup To Women

2011-01-02T09:39:00.008-05:00

Sex is A Woman's Turf

She's been hit on way more times than you ever will. Women have much more practice flirting. Probably had way more sexual experiences than you as well. Knows how to be sexy - you don't.

Plus many years of relationship experience- she is well read on the subject. A veteran. Talks openly with her friends and shares notes. They have a plan. The agenda is clear. She knows wants she wants, she knows the score, and she knows the game.

Enter Today's Man

So us men were playing catchup. Finally starting to talk. Finally starting to share our notes. Not afraid to admit we needed some help. But why the fuck has everything gone so wrong?

At first no one cared enough to even talk about this stuff. And now seemingly overnight guys have become obsessed. From no reading to 5 hours of studying a day. How did we jump so fast from saying "it is what it is bro" to all the over analysis and mental masturbation. Sigh. Leave it to men to take this movement way too far into parody.

When we will find the happy medium?

That this stuff is important but not that important. Sure, we needed to play catch up. But you can't make up 20 years of not thinking about or discussing dating and relationships in just 3 months. Women are not some exam you can just cram for. It's a long road - a journey. So sit back and enjoy it.

We have only just begun.

2 Needs, No Limits

2010-12-27T13:32:00.004-05:00

There is no limit to our sexual appetite. We would try and impregnate every woman in the world if we could. If we had the means we would have sex with a new woman everyday for the rest of our lives. Like hunger, sexual desire can never be fulfilled.

Sure, you get a few hour break after and orgasm, but then you are hungry again. On the prowl. Even if prowling just means more internet porn.

Of course it would never make us happy anyway. There is no answer to this problem. You can't fix this. It's like saying you can figure out how to never be hungry again. Like saying, yeah I had a few good meals but now I am done. I got eating out of my system.

Whether you are getting any or not - there is no relaxing - no fulfillment. So you can't win the game when it comes to sex needs. How much is enough?

Your body doesn't give a fuck about your long term happiness. Only that you keep doing things to pass on your genes. Your brain may reward you in the short term with a pleasure chemical spike, but that's it pal.

And then there is the issue of affection which doesn't require variety. For some only purity. There is a way to win that game. It's hard though. You need to love yourself first and be really good at understanding women and attraction.

Yo haters. Are you mad that you are always attracted and aroused? Do you hate that feeling that sidetracks you everyday. Or are you angry at the object making you attracted and aroused everyday - women?

Why are we jealous of people that have things we know aren't making them happy. It's crazy. Despite the fact we know all the cars, women and money isn't making them happy (they are depressed and addicted to drugs) we are still jealous. We still want to be them.

Foot Jobs

2010-12-23T15:56:00.000-05:00

I think it's awesome Rex Ryan has a foot fetish and loves his wife's feet. People forget - this is his wife we are talking about, and he still finds her attractive. He is still horny for her. I think that's awesome.

This is no case of female harassment or sending a text of your junk like Bret Farve did. Seems Favre always gets a free pass. So good for Rex! You can tell this guy doesn't have the M/w complex like all the losers in the media who probably treat their wives like nuns (if they still have sex with them at all).

If you want a marriage to survive you have to be sexually attracted to your wife. Instead of making the guy out to be a weirdo he should be celebrated. But I do secretly love how technology has uncovered how we are all just a bunch of perverts. The curtain is coming down - it started with Tiger Woods

We are all a just bunch of hooker loving, feet worshipping, panty sniffing pervs. Awesome!

The Community

2010-12-23T09:45:00.005-05:00

You have a bunch of guys pretending they want to learn how to have sex with hundreds of women who really just want some female affection and companionship in their lives.

And then you have a few guys who compensate for their anger at being burned by purity who think sleeping with hundreds of women will somehow get them revenge.

Sometimes it all seems like just a bunch of little boys, not men. Being good with women doesn't just mean you can go to a bar and bring a woman home. How are you in your relationships? How are you as a friend, a father and a human being.

All the sex in the world will never fill that hole in your heart. You know the feeling just after you "finish". You think, Is this all there is? Is this as good as it gets? and There probably is no God.

We are men. We are already masculine. We deal in it all day. Being a tough guy, repressing our feelings. Why would we want our women to be like us. That is why we fought progress and change. The feminine was the last place for us to hide - to take a break from the loneliness of the masculine.

You can have the affection, you just can't have the purity. And when I use the word purity I don't just mean sexual. I mean innocence and perfection. We put too high of an expectation on our women and so now men are angry.

Relationships: 23 hours of affection and 30 seconds of cumming. Yeah, guys get girlfriends for the sex (rolls eyes)

You're an adult now. And if you don't feel loved and you don't feel worthy you will go out in the world and look to leech off somebody. But if you love yourself you will go out and look for someone to share your happiness with.

Cumming In The Face of Purity

2010-12-20T15:04:00.017-05:00

Back in the day, women were something very special to us. The last good thing in this violent, screwed up world.

As kids, we eventually learned there was no Santa Claus. That one hurt. Then along the way we discovered our politicians were liars, corporations were corrupt and our sports heroes were actually cheaters.

Disappointment after disappointment.

But no matter how big the letdown, we still had women. That cute girl in our 6th period math class. So beautiful, innocent and and pure. Put on this earth just to love us and tell us everything was going to be okay. To give us a hug when we needed it. Plus, we were told there was one for each of us. Our very own slave.

Of course, we tried to keep them down anyway we could. We claimed we were doing it for their safety, but we were really just scared if they got power she would leave us. We didn't want to give women the vote or a fair wage. We forced her to cover up and keep quiet.

Well take a look around and it's obvious today that women no longer want to be our saviors. To be our purity is this world of madness. Women want what men want. Hell, what we all want. Pleasure. Fun. To get really drunk. To sleep with strangers. To make mistakes - lots of them. To be bad. Really bad. Women don't care about our stupid little fantasy.

The truth is we didn't want you to be our equals because we never wanted you to be like us. You were different. You were special. And we were flawed. We were guilty. Sinners. So congratulations, you are now exactly like us. How's the view?

But you have to make peace with it. You need to forgive. Because after all, women are human beings just like us. We are all trying our best.

The deal has always been the fantasy for her comfort and convenience. Pure affection for your providing. But the world and the rules have changed. There are no more fantasies.

All that's left is the option to love yourself. And once you love yourself you will be able to give affection and not expect anything in return.

You will have mastered the game.

5 Biggest Mistakes You Make With Women

2010-12-10T21:04:00.003-05:00

The 5 Biggest Mistakes

The 5 biggest mistakes you are making with women are probably not what you are going to expect. In fact, these mistakes are probably the very things you thought you were doing right with women.

That’s because at first, traditional dating advice seems pretty legit. For example, they say you need to be interesting. Women want a man with a sense of humor. Make fun of her to show you aren’t affected by her beauty. Touch her a lot. It just seems to makes sense.

But therein lies the problem. Nowadays, things like “be social and touch her” is average dating advice. In other words, this is the stuff every guy is doing. I mean what guy isn’t out trying to be social, teasing women and touching them a lot. It’s become commonplace. You don’t stand out. You are boring her.

However, when we look at the stuff that really works - the under the radar tactics that get women sexual attracted to you in seconds - we find that they are the complete opposite of what we “think” we should be doing.

Mistake #1: Too Much Talking, Not Enough Listening

Like most guys, you’re probably looking for those special words that can instantly make any woman fall for you. Unfortunately, these so called “magical” pick up lines don’t actually exist.

The good news is, you don’t need words, stories or even witty banter to hold a woman’s attention. In fact, the quickest and easiest way to attract a woman is by remaining silent and baiting her to talk about her goals and passions.

Look, it’s no secret that every woman loves to talk about her favorite subject, herself. And the best part is, the person who is doing most of the talking is the one who is qualifying. In other words, she is now the one trying to impress you instead of the other way around. Plus, women will stick around much longer when they get a chance to talk. And the longer she stays, the more time you have to seduce her.

Mistake #2 Being Social Instead of Seductive

Are you a fun, social guy who can make women laugh but never seem to become anything more than just the friend. Have you ever wondered why that is? It may sound strange, but the more you do the less chance you have of actually getting the girl.

Here is the biggest secret in the dating community --- There is nothing special you need to do or say in order to attract women. That’s because there is a natural tension between men and women called sexual tension. This tension is always there just waiting for you to tap into it. And not surprisingly, the best way to create sexual tension is by being seductive, not social.

Look, of course women appreciate a funny, interesting guy that can make them laugh and entertain the crowd. The problem is after a while all of the talking, witty banter and joke telling reduces the sexual tension between you. That’s a problem because this natural tension is your best tool for creating attraction and getting the girl.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but all of the dating advice you have received in your life up to this point, no matter how well-intended, has actually been preventing you from using this natural sexual tension to your advantage. To be blunt, you have been trying to attract women the hard way.

Mistake #3 Breaking Rapport

I’m sure you’ve heard all about how women don’t want a nice guy. As such, most men have tried acting like a cocky jerk in the hopes of attracting a beautiful woman. But you’ve probably also noticed that instead of making women like you, this technique usually backfires and becomes their excuse to reject you. So what went wrong?

Yes it’s true, teasing women does create some tension. The problem is, you are creating that tension at the expense of rapport. Meaning, even if your teasing is playful, the frame of the interaction is that you guys are not getting along. Eventually, just by acting like you guys are on different teams, it becomes a reality.

The truth is you don’t have to tease or challenge women to create tension. For instance, holding seductive eye contact and moving close to her can create sexual tension but it won’t lead to verbal sparring. These under the radar tactics are powerful because you increase her sexual attraction but you maintain the comfort and connection you have been building. Sexual tension and good rapport are the keys to pulling off a fast seduction.

Mistake #4 Attraction First, Escalation Second

It seems to make sense. Attract a woman first and then later on make your move. Unfortunately, you don’t always get enough time to convey all of your best qualities. Keep in mind, the average interaction at a social function or bar is only a few minutes. You need to show her right away what kind of amazing guy you are.

Look, there is always going to be debate over what is most attractive to women. Is it best to use social proof, act alpha or be a challenge. But I’m sure we can all agree that being BOLD about your intentions is always attractive.

Meaning, just by making your move, no matter what happens, you will be seen as more attractive. The reason escalation is so attractive is because it shows confidence. You are basically saying to her “I know you like me, so I am going to make a move on you”. Now that takes some big ones. No matter her reaction she will at least respect you and view you as a sexual option.

Of course when I say escalation is attractive I’m not talking about groping women or harassing them with sexual innuendo. To find out the most effective way to make a move with no risk of rejection read on.

Mistake #5 Making One Big Move

Like a game of high-stakes poker most guys go “all in” when it comes time to find out of a woman likes them. They start out acting like a disinterested friend and then out of nowhere lung in for a kiss. Thus, it’s no surprise when your love interest turns her cheek making things extremely awkward. Unfortunately, most guys never recover from such a devastating blunder.

Thankfully, there is a much smoother way to escalate. Pay close attention, because I’m about to reveal how to never getting rejected again.

Instead of making one big move, you need to use a series of small moves.

Here’s how it’s done. Instead of asking for her phone number, (which she can reject verbally), just gaze at her seductively letting her know you are interested. Or instead of touching her, (which she can reject physically), simply move very close to her. If she likes you, she will return your eye contact and stay where she is. And if she doesn’t, she will avoid your gaze and take a few steps back.

Plus, by only revealing your interest in this way she will have nothing tangible to reject. You aren’t saying anything. And you aren’t doing anything either. You come in completely under the radar. By the time women realize what you are doing it is too late. They are already attracted to you.

Let’s be honest. The things you are doing now make women smile and giggle, but it’s not leading to sex. However, by avoiding these 5 critical mistakes you will be able to create deep sexual attraction in the women you talk to. Plus you will know exactly when to make your move, with no chance of ever being rejected.

Sixty Years of Challenge (Chris Andersen) is a Dating Coach Based in New York City. Click Here For a Free Seduction Video

Only Choose Women Who Turn You On

2010-12-08T15:55:00.006-05:00

Before an It's On Moment you should definitely be turned on by the girl you are talking to. If not, what's the point. She should be your type. And by type, I don't mean she looks like the skinny blond girl with no boobs that rejected you in high school. No, I'm talking about the type of girl that you usually wank to. Busty in the front and stacked in the back.

And after an IOM you should be even more aroused. Why? Because you are so close to getting to see and play with all that good stuff. If you get to an IOM and you don't have that feeling of sexual excitement there is definitely something off. Either you have some form of sexual anxiety or you're just not picking girls that you are attracted to from the start. You are choosing girls you want affection and validation from. The girls our society says we should like. You don't ACTUALLY want to have sex with them - but don't worry, you won't.

After The IOM it's gut check time. What are you really in this for?

Drama Is Not a Coincidence

2010-12-06T16:38:00.003-05:00

One on my main principals on relationships is that women who don't love themselves can't love you.Thus, my insistence that you should never date a woman with low self esteem. And you probably shouldn't be dating until you solve your own internal issues as well. I mean how can you love another person until you first love yourself.

However, I also think there may be a small segment of women who do love themselves and do have high self-esteem but will still sabotage their relationships simply due to their love of drama. Sure, you love her and treat her right, but she doesn't care. Not because she doesn't love herself (thus can't accept love) but because she already does think highly of herself and doesn't need you to reinforce it. She's fine with herself, now she just needs some excitement!

You go girl...

Girls who value the emotional ups and downs of drama over building a trusting relationship are not right for you. Of course, most women have at least some interest and gossip and drama. Hey, we all do to an extent. It's normal. But in my opinion, women who constantly seem drawn to the dramatic is a huge red flag. Remember, drama is not a coincidence.

Whether she has low self esteem or high self esteem, women who love drama will sabotage your relationship.

Relationship Killer #1: Women With Low Self-Esteem

Women with low self-esteem will always sabotage your relationship (cheat, dump you) because they don't love themselves. When you act really sweet and nice to a person who doesn't like themselves, they will think you are a loser and dump you.

Relationship Killer #2: Women Who Love Drama

Women who love drama may like themselves and have high self esteem but it doesn't matter. Drama, uncertainty and excitement are always more important than maintaining a stable partnership. At some point you will be cheated on and unceremoniously dumped.

Drama and LSE are the two biggest Red Flags.

Meeting Women at Clubs Versus Bars

2010-12-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

A general rule for the dance floor is... escalation happens FASTER but means LESS. Meaning, in less than 30 seconds she is already grabbing your package, but a minute later she says she will be "right back" and then spends the rest of the night hiding from you. This can be confusing the first time something like this happens to you.

In contrast, when talking at a quieter bar or lounge the sexual connection may take more time to develop, but it usually lasts longer and has more meaning. In my opinion that is the trade off of meeting women in clubs versus bars.

Women For Hire

2010-12-06T14:09:00.009-05:00

Nervous around women? In an interaction, whoever is picturing the other person naked has the upper hand.There is a reason experts advise doing this to ease the fear of public speaking. Plus, it will turn you on. Even Better!

File this one under really bad advice. Guys who tell you to picture the girl you like taking a huge dump to make you more comfortable. This advice is ass backwards. Your greatest weapon for getting the girl you want is being turned on by her, not repulsed.

You can try to be interesting, but isn't it easier to just be interested in her? The tricky part is doing it without coming off ass a needy kiss ass.

Speaking of needy, why when a girl is attracted to a guy and she gets all giggly and talks loud it looks so cute. But when a guy gets nervous around a hot girl it looks really creepy.

You can still be slightly aloof and a challenge without being a dick. Don't be mean and never break rapport. Just because a girl has some interest in you doesn't mean you won't screw it up. A lot of 60 Method is about NOT screwing it up. Breaking rapport and acting disinterested is screwing it up.

You know you are cool, but do you have cool mannerisms? How do you walk, talk, sit, stand and don't forget facial expressions.

The ability to walk away from mediocre interest (to save time) and go back to NO interest is a very underrated skill in seduction.

-----

Tests. Knowing the difference when to use silence/deadpan and when to use genuine/humble/comfort. Most of the times it's silence/deadpan. But if testing continues you will want to use genuine/humble at least once.

Women, Words & Touch

2010-12-04T14:47:00.009-05:00

The point of escalation is seeing if the attraction is mutual. And if it is... making that attraction official.

In my opinion, touch does not create attraction, it reveals it. Do you really think tapping a woman's shoulder made her like you? However, touch can be used to create arousal in women that are already attracted to you.

When it comes to touch guys either have the incidental focus (I can use touch to create attraction) or the arousal focus (If I just touch her enough, it will turn her on and it won't matter if she likes me). Not many have the I'm going to use touch to see if attraction is mutual / make attraction official focus.

In the essence of saving time, it's best to use touch to make attraction official first and then to create arousal second. Meaning, if you slap her ass thinking you can arouse a woman who isn't interested in you, it's probably a waste of time. And if you are focused solely on rubbing her lower back (one-sided) instead of grabbing her hand (mutual) - you are out of sequence.

The problem with overt kino is women will let you touch them. Doesn't mean they will/want to touch you back.

And words alone can not make attraction official. Saying "I like you" isn't enough. But descriptions can be used to arouse a woman who is already open to the idea of sleeping with you.

The biggest problem in the dating community is not creating attraction, it's making attraction official.

Women will let you touch them. Women will let you compliment them.

The question is... will she caress you back?

Getting Women Is Not Complicated

2010-12-04T14:15:00.009-05:00

Take A Chance

If you see one looking at you or standing near you, take a chance and say hi.

* You shouldn't have to do anything special besides having the courage to say hello first in order for another human being to at least be respectful towards you. If that doesn't happen, walk away.

If while you are talking to her it seems to be going well, take a chance and grab her hand.

While you are playing with each others hands, take a chance and ask her if she wants to go watch a movie.

Do you view all this as trying to make girls like you, or finding out which ones already do?

Once you've slept and had relationships with all of the cute and cool girls who already like you, then you can spend your days and nights trying to convince the ones who don't.

Sure, but even if women already like you - you still have to meet them, you still have to make attraction official and you still have to make that pleasure offer. Easier said than done, but you still can learn this stuff quick.

Time Wasters: Interest Level & Situational

And think about this, even the girls that like you take some time and effort. You can just imagine what a pain the girls that don't like you are going to be. But it's not that most girls don't like you. Most of the time it's just situational. She has a boyfriend, is married or likes someone else. A lot of times it' s due to her own hangups and issues. It's not you.

It's crazy to spend time with women who don't like you. But it's most dangerous to spend time with women who like you but given their situation can't be with you. For example, she flirts with you but has a serious boyfriend. Dude, it's not happening.

It's so hard to walk away because despite the fact you know they are time wasters, they actually like you. They are being cool to you. That's what makes it so difficult to leave. But you must do it.

Why Women Don't Cheat

2010-11-30T10:15:00.020-05:00

If there is one thing guys seem to constantly worry about, it's their girlfriemd cheating. Well I'm here to tell you that it's not going to happen.

Of course some women cheat, but the numbers should be much higher. Read on to find out why women aren't cheating as much you might think.

All Women Are Rock Stars

I wish I was a rock star. I could get laid all the time. Well, welcome to a woman's world. All women are rock stars.

I don't care if you were George Clooney. Your girlfriend could still go out and get laid faster and easier than you could. In fact, as well known as Clooney is, there are still more men who want to sleep with his girlfriend (she's hot) than women who want to sleep with him.

So Why Doesn't Your Girlfriend Cheat?

You don't cheat because you have NO options. (Sorry, prostitutes and rub and tug massages don't count). Your wife doesn't cheat because she knows PURITY is the most important thing to you. And even if she did cheat, you would never know about it. That's because she will be very discreet - like a CIA agent.

When the purity is gone, the fantasy is gone.

If you are a really good catch and have proven you can get other women your wife or girlfriend will NOT cheat on you. It's way too risky. She knows pure female affection is your #1 goal. So much so that you gave up sleeping with multiple women to get it. Purity, not her ass, is her best asset.

Of course if your girlfriend runs the show, she will probably cheat on you. She will figure she could survive getting caught cheating because although her purity is important to you - you are also so desperate for female companionship you would eventually take her back.

But for desirable guys with options there is usually no going back when her purity fantasy is broken. Women know this and don't cheat - even though they easily could. For women getting sex is super easy, getting a quality guy to commit and settle down is hard. Take away the purity card and it would be almost impossible.

Women and Drama

2010-11-29T09:25:00.006-05:00

Once her basic needs are taken care of: air, food, water, and shelter. And there is a guy who loves her...Now there is free time to create drama.

I think you can tell a lot about a society by how much time they have to devote to celebrity gossip and drama. For example, America with Bristol Palin and Dancing With The Stars.

What we need is a down economy and a war or two to distract us from our unhealthy obsession with celebrities...oh, wait....

How To Keep Her Forever

2010-10-28T18:30:00.002-04:00

How To Keep Her Forever

As you know I don't really recommend cocky and funny for getting girls. But I sure do for keeping them. Once you are in a relationship (you have actually slept with the girl) being cocky funny is a great frame. I was at a dinner party the other night and observed a couple that was married for 30 years. This guy was the king of cocky funny and his wife was eating it up. You could tell she was just as attracted to him as the first day they met. And I'm talking sexually attracted.

There is just something really lame about teasing a girl too much and acting all disinterested before you have actually slept with her.

If you want to get and keep a girlfriend be aloof and a challenge. But if you want to sleep with a woman fast, escalate and be persistent.

The Anti-Manifesto (Must Read)

2010-09-10T15:48:00.004-04:00

Very interesting discussion of my famous Anti-Manifesto taking place over at The Pick Up Artist Form

Even Gambler weighs in with his opinion.

See how real guys just like you are having tons of success with 60 Method. You don't want to miss this one!

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/60s-anti-manifesto-must-read-vt72952.html?highlight=

If you haven't read The Anti-Manifesto you really should definitely check it out right now:

http://theseducers.com/content/seducers-anti-manifesto

Let me know how it's been working for you!

Why You Can Only Get Married Once

2010-08-10T14:23:00.002-04:00

Looks like the singer Rod Stewart is going to be a dad again. This makes eight kids with what I believe is three, maybe four different women. Now this news got me thinking. This is just not possible for the average guy to do without going into bankruptcy. Only a man with a lot of money can withstand three divorces and support eight different children without going under.

One True Love Per Lifetime

The money allows these guys to have several long term "affection" relationships (marriage) throughout their lives with young hot chicks. Now as we know, a young beautiful woman is not going to just give you her purity and affection for long periods of time without her agenda being fulfilled (marriage, kids, house). So money allows these guys to deliver this agenda to several young women throughout their lives. Whereas a regular guy can usually only do this once.

Now of course a regular Joe can always remarry, but his chances of landing a young little hottie are low. Even if by luck he does got a young stunner, he will still have to provide her with her agenda. That's another two kids, half of half your income (the other half is already going to wife #1 remember).

So most likely after a divorce you are only looking at getting a woman in her late 30's with kids of her own. You are no longer in the running for the young beautiful women. Only the rich dudes can pull this off. Well you can too, and many guys ignore this wisdom and do it anyway. Not surprisingly putting themselves into financial ruin.

You can only take the ride of love once (meet, date, engaged, house - mortgage, married, kids) so you better learn how to deal with women now. Rich guys like Rod, he will take this wild ride a few times. He can mess up once, twice or even thrice. He gets a do over.

But these rich guys are still suckers because they never learned how to properly keep a woman attracted over a long period of time. And they must know that these young sexy women will only stay with them if they deliver the agenda.

Hot Women and Sex

2010-08-03T17:51:00.004-04:00

There is a difference between women asking you questions because they are interested and women asking you questions because they are looking to screen you out.

Hot women will have more sex in their lifetime than you will.

Beautiful women are amazing, but most didn't have to do much to get that way. They were just born good looking. Not that impressive. Hell, even I could have been born a good looking women. It's easy.

Start Listening

2010-08-03T17:31:00.002-04:00

What a guy said recently:

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish. So that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Zip It

Since you aren't going to talk anyway, you will never even contemplate interrupting a woman while you are listening.You can just relax and focus on your deadpan face contact, getting close and grabbing her hand. Plus if you don't talk, you know there must eventually be a pause in the conversation that will set up a moment of sexual tension. Nice.

After this short pause, wait a few seconds. She is not done talking yet. After she finishes her thought a few times, that short pause will eventually turn into a complete silence. Now she is done talking about herself. Silence and tension.

The Best Part

After anyone talks for a long period of time about themselves, and you don't comment on what they just said, they often feel a bit self-conscious. Hey this is no secret trick. It's just natural. Now don't get me wrong, she is happy you were paying very close attention to her. But she never gets that validation she was hoping for. And lets face it - this is validation she is used to getting from everyone.

Yes, this silence may be awkward and create tense moment. But it's awkward for her, not you. Because she was the one talking, she will be the one who feels judged, not you. In this case, the pressure is on her. Think this might be kind of different from your normal interactions with women.

Listening is a very easy way to make women feel like they are trying to impress you. Plus it sets up a powerful moment of sexual tension.

Start listening!

Genuine is a Screening Tool

2010-07-28T16:20:00.002-04:00

Be Genuine to Screen People

If you want to tell a lot about a woman just take a look at how she responds to you being genuine. This will help you separate the dateable women who test you for strength and the true psychos who feast on drama.

You can tell from the moment you start a conversation.

Cheers! What are you guys celebrating?

Uh, Do we know you?

No, but you looked interesting I wanted to meet you.

Oh hey, I'm Sara.

Freak: Why are you like...still drinking that beer?

Freak Friend: (sensing an opportunity for drama) What the fuck did you say to my friend?

These are the times you simply say pleasure meeting you and RUN not walk away. You do not want to get to know these people.

If a woman doesn’t respond positively to your attempt to be humble or to a genuine apology you will want to get away from her as quick as possible.

These types of people don’t care about logic and reason, they just want drama. Just like when a huge guy says “what the fuck are you looking at”. You can use logic and tell him "I wasn’t looking at you" (you weren’t) but he doesn’t care, he just wants to kick your ass.

Avoid women like this and their friends at all costs, unless you like drama. There is something seriously wrong with a woman who doesn’t respond positively to you being confident but genuine or you giving a humble apology when called for.

This is a huge red flag.

In business, friendships, seductions and relationships.

It's Not You, It's The Pleasure

2010-05-17T00:02:00.059-04:00

It's the Pleasure

Some of the most effective methods for picking up women quickly all seem to have ONE important thing in common. Whether it be putting out a seductive vibe, escalating quickly, using sex talk or being physically aggressive - there is always one KEY ingredient present that makes it all work.
And that is...

For the most part these methods are selling SEX first and YOU second

* In many instances I will be replacing the word sex with the word pleasure. I believe this small change will help the reader better understand the main idea of the article.

When you use seductive eye contact and get close quickly you are basically selling pleasure. When you talk freely and openly about your sexual desires you are offering pleasure. When you grab her hand, spin her around and pull her very close to you all in the first ten seconds you are giving her an opportunity to get pleasure.

In contrast, when your main focus is on trying to be interesting and funny , saying the right "words" and bringing the "value" you are trying to sell YOU.

Now, I know you are a cool guy - but YOU are definitely not more interesting, funny and witty than PLEASURE. In other situations you will have lots of time to sell her on YOU - but to pull a girl you just met quickly I would you argue that the most effective way is to sell her on the idea PLEASURE.

Take it Personal

It's also harder not take resistance personally when you use verbal methods that focus around trying to sell YOU. Here you are trying to convey the best of your personality and revealing intimate details about yourself to her - and she is basically saying...eh not interested. Ouch. You can forget about being persistent.

Are you going out at night trying to convince women of the idea of YOU (and possibly sex) or is your game centered around selling her the idea of SEX (possibly with you). If you are spending 90% of your effort on promoting YOU and only 10% on offering PLEASURE you might want to reverse that.

The truth is YOU are not that important. Sex is a very pleasurable experience on it's own. YOU are replaceable. Not convinced - just take a look at the transfer of buying temperature. You get a girl all worked up and in the mood for sex and then some other guy swoops in and reaps the benefits.

Think about it. How much of what happens is because of what you said or did and how much is just that sex feels good and women like it. Is it you or the experience itself? Let's be fair and say it's a mix of both. I know, I know - we would all love to think it was only due to our good looks and awesome game.

It can be hard to put your ego aside and admit that your best quality is that you can offer her pleasure. If you are talking to a group of girls, even if you are trying to be polite, why do you still automatically ignore the unattractive one. Because she can't offer you pleasure. It's not fair but that's life. Women are the same way - if you are not offering pleasure you will be ignored.

Pleasure is Cooler than YOU

One thing to keep in mind is that sex is probably the most pleasurable experience we can have. We all love to feel pleasure and obviously women are no different. It can take a guy a long time before he finally internalizes the mindset "women love sex" but it seems to click instantly when you simply tell him "women love pleasure".
I mean it's not like you are out at the bars trying to convince women to watch a four hour football game with you. Just imagine if to get a girl home you had to convince her to run a marathon with you first. Now that would be really hard. When you consider it, selling the idea of pleasure is easy. Especially when in all likelihood she will get more pleasure out of the deal than you will.

Keep in mind we are selling a product that women want to buy. That's why it's such a joke when you see a guy buying the excuses women give for still not getting physical after several dates. Again, it's not like we are asking her to loan us $10,000 dollars - we are talking about pleasure here.

Would a drug user turn down a line of coke. Well sex is a drug (it releases powerful pleasure chemicals into the body) and best of all it's free. In other words, if there is some "mutual" interest - engaging in an activity as pleasurable as sex is really doesn't take that much convincing. Most times sex sells itself.
In my book The Compete Game System I talk about how the decision to have sex is mostly mood based.

Meaning after a seduction becomes overt and mutual it's really not about you anymore. The question becomes can you get her in the mood for sex (arouse her). I mean you've already shown her how cool you are - she likes you. You don't need to create more attraction (aka selling yourself) ...it's time to sell the PLEASURE.
Guys know the best product in their arsenal is pleasure. They spend less time selling themselves and more time selling the sex. Of course the fact that you are confident and comfortable with your sexuality says really good things about you. It's attractive no doubt. But don't lose sight of the fact that it's because you are offering her a good opportunity for PLEASURE that makes you so appealing.

Sexual vibe keeps the focus on where it should be...the sex (pleasure) not you. You are okay, but sorry pleasure is better than you. Sex talk is selling the pleasure not you. You will never again take resistance or rejection personally - you ares selling her pleasure, not you.

Seriously, imagine a world where "game" consisted of cold approaching strangers and trying to get them to give you $10,000. If that were true I would agree that gaming women is hard and you would need special tricks. Fortunately that is not the case. We are like dealers hanging out in a room full of female junkies - holding a big bag of cocaine.

The Game is NOT about YOU...

it's about her.

Girls hookup with guys they don't like that much all the time. Why - pleasure. What can you sell if you are physically not her type. Pleasure. She doesn't like you for a boyfriend. Pleasure. Hey I get it - you aren't crazy about me. But it doesn't matter, I know you will still take the pleasure.

In most methods you have to do two things. First you need to convince her to like YOU and then you still need to convince her to have SEX with you. The shortcut is to show her you can provide HER pleasure - who cares about YOU. I know you do... but a different way to think about this is instead of trying to sell yourself (qualify yourself) go out and offer pleasure.

You know you have a really good product (pleasure). You don't need to qualify yourself or convince women. But you are still out there offering it - lovingly, humbly.

When you view game through a lens of YOU being good enough for her of course you are going to talk everything personally and not be persistent. Women become vehicles to confirm YOUR self worth. But if you view yourself first as a provider of pleasure - despite her feelings about you - she will want the good feelings of you can provide them.

Focus on Her, Not You

I was doing this for all the wrong reasons. I was looking for validation through female affection. Most guys are selfish when they interact with women. Not selfish for sex - they are focused more on getting validation (constantly assessing her reactions to see if she likes you) versus focusing on her pleasure. It's not about you, it's about her. The frame of "I am going to provide this girl pleasure and she is going to love it" will get you through the rough times (resistance, testing and flakiness). Her pleasure is the whole point - you already know you are cool, you don't need another woman to validate that.

Things that try to sell YOU: interesting, funny, witty, social proof, you are a challenge (disinterested)
Things that offer her PLEASURE: seductive vibe, sexual kino (arousal) , sex talk
In my book, The Complete Game System - I had a whole chapter on how one of the most fascinating things I learned was a woman doesn't have to like you to sleep with you. I never fully understood why that was until recently - pleasure.

Have to always replace the word sex with pleasure - the word sex in society has a connotation of something "dirty". It's just pleasure. Some women only have pleasure with guys they like - or who are their type - but when it comes to pleasure most aren't so picky.

Especially after it's mutually on. Why would you continue to sell you. She already likes YOU - there is nothing more to sell. You now sell the pleasure.

Two areas to put your ego aside.
Relationships: it's not you, it's her agenda
Sex: it's not you, it's the pleasure
Can you provide pleasure or an agenda?

Women are Tension AFC's

2010-03-03T23:16:00.009-05:00

Women are Tension AFC's

"strange behavior is your signal to make a move" - Sixty

Every woman you meet will respond differently to sexual tension. Some canhandle it easily and others start acting, well...a little strange. Whether she says"what" when you look at her, won't stop talking or constantly tries to bait youto break rapport, the truth is some women are simply tension AFC's. This canbe cute but it can also be a huge turn-off after a while.

One way to avoid this is to give her a slight break in the tension by making yourovert physical move. This move lets her know you are definitely interested. Keep in mind, a lot of her unresolved tension comes from her worrying "does he or doesn't he like me?". Or as my friend TVA Oslo astutely pointed out "at first sexual tension can feel more weird than arousal for her". Basically she is wondering if you are feeling what she's feeling. You can help relieve some of that uncertainty.

Make Your Move

For the chatterbox who deals with tension by talking the whole time you can quiet her with one quick kiss. You can't kiss and talk at the same time. For shy girls who seem nervous and fidgety, but stay relatively quiet, simply take her hand and start caressing it. She just needs a little bit of comfort and reassurance. The point of this moment is to solidify the connection you have been building with vibe, physically - thus reducing some of that uncertainty. It also creates comfort and a "we are in this together frame".

After this mutual moment there will still be tension but you won't get as much nervous chatter, her saying "what" when you look at her, and constant testing. She will start to calm down a little bit and enjoy the seduction. Again, by no means does this mean the tension over. It's only just begun, albeit there is a now a different type of tension brewing. (my teaser for a future newsletter)

The bottom line is if you wait too long to make your overt physical mutual escalation you are going to get women acting a little crazy in response to your sexual vibe. Inexperienced seducers usually mistake this strange behavior as a sign of low interest. All the more reason to make your "it's on" move quickly.

The Other Limiting Belief

2010-03-03T14:36:00.004-05:00

It’s Too Early: The “Other” Limiting Belief

We are all familiar with the limiting belief about how supposedly it takes a certain amount of time before a woman will have sex with you.
But there is another limiting belief that may be hurting you. That is the amount of time you THINK you need to wait before making an overt physical move. The truth is you can make your “it’s on” move (ie. the mutual hand caressing test or kissing) as early as the first minute. And if she is initially attracted to you it will work.

I already know that you believe you can attract a woman in a few seconds. So why do you think it should take longer than that to make that attraction official?

In fact, most times waiting too long kills your chances. Sometimes you are never as mysterious and sexy as you will be in those first few minutes after you meet her. Guys are usually at their best during the first few minutes of vibing when the sexual tension is strong.

I know this because I have screwed this up many times myself. There have been plenty of times when I had a strong sexual connection with a woman right away. She would look at me seductively and smile, we got really close and I could just feel that it was definitely ON.

But because all this was happening in the FIRST minute or two I thought I still had to wait a little bit before making that mutual physical move. (ie grabbing her hand). As if making an overt move so quickly would blow my chances forever or she would reject me because it’s too soon to do stuff like that.

The truth is there is NO set defined amount of time you need to wait before you can make it officially “on”. If attraction happens in the blink of an eye (seconds) then WHEN you decide to make that attraction official and mutual should be as soon as possible.

You Don’t Have All the Time in the World

Here is what usually happens:

When things are going really good an the beginning you ASSUME you have “all the time in the world” to make that overt-mutual physical move. You figure you will get around to doing it (escalating) eventually. No hurry, no worries. She’s really into me.

But what ALWAYS ends up happening when two minutes turns into five minutes…and then into ten?

That initial sexual vibe starts to weaken. She moves slightly away from you. Now she isn’t smiling as much. She has already asked you the prerequisite getting to know you questions. Then her friend comes over and interrupts the vibe. Hmm. Now you start doubting yourself so you put off making the OVERT move again as you WAIT until you can get things back like they were in the beginning.

You went from thinking it was TOO EARLY to make an overt-physical move to now being AFRAID to make an overt physical move.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is you want to make the attraction “official” as soon as possible. And escalation to me, in this case making ONE overt physical move, is really about revealing the attraction that is already there, WHEN it’s there.

That’s the thing. Just because she was attracted in the first minute doesn’t mean she is going to be attracted to you forever. The feeling of attraction and sexual tension fluctuates just like buying temperature. Your connection with her is not solid yet because in reality she just met you. So the best time to make your overt move and make the attraction mutual is during that automatic spike in attraction that usually happens naturally during the first minute.

Obviously you want to take advantage of the attraction when it’s there. It just so happens that when you first meet a woman and you are the new mysterious guy you automatically get your best chance to make the attraction official.

The Key Point:

Once you make the overt move and your connection becomes mutual your interaction with her can now survive the natural interest level fluctuations (the ups and downs) that are bound to happen throughout first ten to fifteen minutes of hanging out.

Avoid the BIG LETDOWN

As soon as you sense the feeling of attraction you want to make it official. That is the real point of escalation. Don’t put it off. It doesn’t matter if it’s only 30 seconds in. Take advantage of the fact that things are usually at their best in the first minute or two.

If you don’t make the attraction official it will feel like a big letdown for her later when her initial interest dips and nothing mutually physical has happened yet.

I’m sure you have noticed that it always gets a bit awkward when you start out FAST by escalating the vibe sexually but then you waste time dicking around with incidental touching and never make that mutual- physical move.

Once the initial tension/attraction starts to fizzle without something mutual happening, the vibe usually gets a bit weird. Most interactions never recover from this fast start and weak finish.

That awkward tension and weird vibe comes from a feeling that something was supposed to happen…but it didn’t.

You are now pretending to interact with each other in the “friendship frame” after starting out with a “strong sexual vibe”. You both know you are being fake so it doesn’t work. It’s no surprise that once she feels the awkwardness from this situation you are only seconds away from…well nice meeting you.

Vibe starts out strong > You think it’s too early to make overt physical move > Vibe weakens a bit > Now You are Afraid to make an overt physical move > Interaction Stalls > It gets awkward > Nice Meeting You

This also ties into the misconception that talking to a woman for a long time means you are doing good. I see it as just the opposite. In my opinion, if I see a guy talking to a woman for more than a few minutes without making an overt physical move… it usually means he is doing bad.